


Something Once Lost

by missmallorymarie



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Amputation, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:21:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmallorymarie/pseuds/missmallorymarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Something once lost can never be returned." - Yana Toboso</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Once Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Ever wonder what's up with Peridot's arms? 
> 
> They aren't her real arms, that's what's up with them.
> 
> Just a short fic I'm writing to go with my amputee!Peridot headcanons.

       She had forgotten just how bright outside light could be. Peridot shut her eyes tight as her body began to reform. How long had she been in there anyways? Regeneration never seemed to take that long, but this time had been different.

       

       She was used to the destabilizer by now. She did her best and followed orders with the utmost precision. But that still wasn’t good enough for her superiors. One slip, in their eyes, was worth a good zap. Over the years, Peridot had become much too familiar with the way the energy would fill her physical body. The yellow matter would creep its way into every molecule of her body and break apart the bonds that held her together. It stung. But even after having experienced such a feeling time and time again, she never grew numb to it.

 

       This last incident in particular had been a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. When a higher ranking officer was upset, they had a tendency to take it out on the nearest gem to them. Peridot happened to be a little too close to Topaz at the time. Whatever bad news she had received threw her into a fit of rage. Topaz flipped tables and yelled.

 

       “WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET THESE WORTHLESS GEMS TO FOLLOW ORDERS?” her voice resonated throughout the chamber. Peridot attempted to carefully and quietly back out of the room. But in Topaz’s rampage, Peridot caught her eye.

 

       “ _You_ ,” she growled. “You’re one of _them_. Why is it so hard for your kind to do a _damn_ thing right?”

 

       Peridot heard the buzzing of Topaz’s destabilizer starting up and she flinched. There was no stopping it now, but she still had the slightest bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, she could avoid having to go through another regeneration. She had just come out of her last one, and she wasn’t ready to go through another one yet.

 

       "T-Topaz, remember who you’re talking to! I-it’s Peridot. I’ve always followed your instructions exactly as you’ve said them, haven’t I?”

 

       “All you can do is tap away at that screen all day. When have you ever been any help to the cause?”

 

       And with that, the stinging sensation spread throughout her body once again.

* * *

       It was lonely inside her gem. While she didn’t have anyone she was particularly close to anyway, it was still unusually quiet and dull waiting around for her physical body to form again. She wondered where she would be when she regenerated. on some occasions, one of her higher-ups and a close acquaintance named Jasper would take Peridot back to her quarters and would, on occasion, be waiting there when she came back.

 

       This time, Peridot was alone. She was unsure where exactly she was, but she felt herself collapse on the ground. She was surprisingly tired. Gems weren’t supposed to get tired, but here she was, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different and it made her uncomfortable. She brought her hand up to her forehead to brush her fingertips across the smooth surface of her gem.

 

       Why can’t I feel my gem?

 

       ….

 

      Why can’t I feel my arm?

 

       It took all but a moment to register. Peridot’s arms now only extended to a little bit past her elbow. Her slender limbs were gone.

 

       She lept to her feet. She wanted to scream but no sound would come out. She could only stare at the stubby ends of her arms in shock. How could she ever be of any use again? Surely once they found out they would force her to regenerate again and again, trying to grow her arms back. Or worse, they would smash her gem int dozens of pieces, probably to be used for one of the cluster experiments.

 

       She would have been pulling her hair if she could.

 

       What the hell was she going to do now? Her job revolved primarily around Peridot being able to work with data on the computers. She couldn’t very well do that without hands. And she could forget about ever being able to go out in the field to gather intel either. That was all she ever really wanted to do. She just wanted to be more than another face behind a desk or an assistant to those who outranked her. But now she would be lucky to even be able to do that. Peridot knew this wasn’t the type of thing that would be fixed easily. While her gem wasn’t broken, she was.

 

       At that moment, Jasper barged in.

 

       “Peri! You’re finally done. You sure took your sweet time with that one, eh?” Jasper said with a grin.

 

       Peridot turned her back to Jasper. She was never one to get emotional in the first place, but should she start getting worked up now, Jasper was the last person she wanted to see it happen.

 

       “....Go away,” Peridot mumbled.

 

       “Peridot?”

 

        “I said go away! Leave! Just let me--” she choked. “Just...let me be alone…”

       

       Peridot’s anguish was not well hidden. Jasper drew closer and Peridot looked up. Surely Jasper would see her as a freak, something useless and disposable. Jasper’s eyes grew wide.

 

       “How did--?”

 

       “I don’t know. I just came back and they’re gone. This isn’t something that’ll be fixed with another regeneration, you know. This is permanent. I’m worthless. I’m nothing now.”

 

       The two stood in silence for a while. Neither had  anything to say, but Jasper knew she couldn’t just leave Peridot like this. They stood there for hours, or so it seemed, until the overhead speaker said that one of the generals wished to speak with Jasper. It wasn’t exactly and order she could ignore. She let out a sigh and put a hand on Peridot’s shoulder before heading out.

 

       “Look, Peri. I know this is rough. This is probably the worst thing that could have happened, but it’s not the end. I know you. And you are crafty and clever and I know you can think of a solution to this. Just remember that you’re not worthless.”

 

       And as the door closed, Peridot did what she could never do in front of another living being. She cried.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll have more up soon, I just wanted to get some of my thoughts written out. Please let me know what you think or if there are any mistakes I need to correct. 
> 
> Also please talk about amputee!peridot with me


End file.
